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Sunday, June 19, 2011

~Day Whatever~

OK, I'm not sure if anyone has been following my project or not, but if you have, you may have noticed an extended absence. Well, the project has pretty much come to a halt, but it was not by choice. I was fully committed to doing an entire year of one (at least) photo a day, but my body just wasn't willing to follow the program.

I was pretty much incapacitated for three weeks or so, by a very painful injury. I spent a long time in so much pain that I was unable to get out of bed, let alone lift a camera (and some of my equipment is very heavy) or sit at a computer. I missed a lot of time at work. I couldn't grocery shop, fix meals, do laundry or housework, or much of anything really. I was pretty much an invalid. I couldn't even attend my aquacise classes (if you knew me, you'd know what a big deal it is for me to miss a class.) I was in so much pain that I spent much of that time just screaming, crying, and doing my best impression of a person afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome. It was like a delirium of pain, somewhat akin to having a very high fever and not being lucid enough to know what day it is - or even if it is day or the middle of the night. (There were nights I didn't sleep at all due to the pain, and days that I slept all day.) I did have some drugs that pretty much knocked me out and that was the only reprieve I had from the pain. (I rarely take even an Advil, so I have a low tolerance to drugs.) I would say it was a hundred times more painful than childbirth.

It's hard to say what happened, because nothing actually did happen. It's not like I fell or was in a car accident or anything. The pain was at the base of my neck, shoulder, and arm. It felt like pins and needles, but at the same time like it was on fire, not just a burning sensation, but like it was actually on fire. It hurt so much that I wanted to die so the pain would be over. I was actually disappointed when the "Rapture" of May 21st came and went and the world didn't end. That's just how painful it was.

To this day, a good three or four weeks later, I still have pins and needles in my index finger and severe weakness in that arm (I can't really support much of anything with that arm anymore, I've just become accustomed to using the good arm for mostly everything.) I never did get a definite diagnosis, just several different possibilities, such as rotator cuff strain/tear, trapezius muscle strain, tendonitis, C7 vertebrae injury. Whatever it is, it must have been some sort of repetitive strain injury (since nothing happened to it) and whether it was inflamed muscle or badly aligned spine, there has to be something crushing a nerve somewhere.

It seems like it will be a very long, slow healing process, so for now the heavy equipment is on the shelf, only being used sporadically. I don't think carrying it around on a regular basis is in the cards for me for a long time (if ever.) For the remainder of this year, I will still be posting, but will be limiting my shooting to once a week or so, and only for the more important events or occasions. (I don't know how I will ever go on if I have to trade in my DSLR for a point and shoot!)

I do still have a few photos to post that were taken (mostly with my phone) in the early days before the pain reached its peak, at a time when I was still hoping that I would be able to keep the project going. (I was just unable to sit at my computer to post them.) And I have a few more that were taken once the worst of it was over and I just NEEDED to get back to shooting.

Also, I must not forget to thank my super-terrific hubby, Darrin, who kept the house running single-handedly while I was unable to contribute ANYTHING at all to the cause. He did it all, (while working full-time nights, plus overtime - I can't remember the last time he worked a regular forty hour work week.) Meals, dishes, laundry, groceries, housework, errands, taking care of me, you name it, he did it. And I know it was hurting him to see and hear me in so much pain, and not being able to do anything about it. He's a rock and I don't know what I would ever do without him. Thanks, hon - love you more than you can ever imagine!

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